Drownin’ Lizards

It wuz years and years ago when Bubba Ray wuz a skinny youngen and his Granpappy decided it wuz time fer him to take his first taste a mountain hooch.  So on Hallerween Night the two of them went out into the  foggy fog and far up into them hickory woods to commence with the plan.  Well, by and by they come to a big ol’ rock and them hootey owls wuz hootie hootin’ and them clouds wuz hidin’ the moon.  So Granpappy takes out a tin cup and pours some hooch into it and says to Bubba Ray, “Son ya’  need a sip and I wish me to die if’n we don’t  whup them danged Gaters!”  And then ZZAAPP! A big ol’ bolt a lightenin’ hits Granpappy and vaporized hisself leavin’ nuthin’ but a smolderin’ Bulldawg cap and a vibratin’ Mason jar.  So that is how Granppappy became known as “Wish-Me-Die” and that began a annual reunion a him and Bubba Ray ever Hallerween Time when Granpappy’s apparition returns to the foggy woods and makes a perdiction ’bout the Annual Gater Whuppin’.  

Them Gaters is extra nervous this year and Sheriff Ish “Stan” Bull and his deputy Elrod “Itchey” E. Rupshun is gittin’ ready fer a roadblock jest south a Waycross to halt the Bubba Ray Brigade.  “Itchey”  has extra BBs  fer his pistol and Reverend Hal E. Looyer has done donated several unused coffins to run across US1 as a effective roadblock.  Lucius “Gater” Bates has done got his Orange & Blue school bus in route to set up camp on the St. Johns River by the stadium and cause trouble like the varmit always does.  

Well, now let’s see what Granpappy Wish-Me-Die done said.






Dear Little Bubba
no need to have fear
Yer Granpappy Wish-Me-Die
is once agin here
Them Gaters dressed like reptiles
and it shore did not seem lucky
In fact them ugly uniforms
were really, really yucky
We think them Gaters hoped to be
as scary as a Spook
By the end a third quarter
they wuz channelin’ Ron Zook
The coachin’ wuz jest awful
and plays were sent by Courier
By half time ever Gater
wuz beggin’  fer Steve Spurrier
Now Gaters face them Dawgs
and each Dawg is a Beast
Too bad obnoxious Gaters
Ya’ cannot win The East
We know ya’ like yer Mullet
the only fish with gizzards
Bulldawgs love to Hunker Down
and kick the tails of Lizards
Pack away the uniforms
wear Orange & Blue with glee
Georgia Bulldawgs 48
& Gaters 23!


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