|It wuz years and years ago when Bubba Ray wuz a skinny youngen and his Granpappy decided it wuz time fer him to take his first taste a mountain hooch. So on Hallerween Night the two of them went out into the foggy fog and far up into them hickory woods to commence with the plan. Well, by and by they come to a big ol’ rock and them hootey owls wuz hootie hootin’ and them clouds wuz hidin’ the moon. So Granpappy takes out a tin cup and pours some hooch into it and says to Bubba Ray, “Son ya’ need a sip and I wish me to die if’n we don’t whup them danged Gaters!” And then ZZAAPP! A big ol’ bolt a lightenin’ hits Granpappy and vaporized hisself leavin’ nuthin’ but a smolderin’ Bulldawg cap and a vibratin’ Mason jar. So that is how Granppappy became known as “Wish-Me-Die” and that began a annual reunion a him and Bubba Ray ever Hallerween Time when Granpappy’s apparition returns to the foggy woods and makes a perdiction ’bout the Annual Gater Whuppin’.
Them Gaters is extra nervous this year and Sheriff Ish “Stan” Bull and his deputy Elrod “Itchey” E. Rupshun is gittin’ ready fer a roadblock jest south a Waycross to halt the Bubba Ray Brigade. “Itchey” has extra BBs fer his pistol and Reverend Hal E. Looyer has done donated several unused coffins to run across US1 as a effective roadblock. Lucius “Gater” Bates has done got his Orange & Blue school bus in route to set up camp on the St. Johns River by the stadium and cause trouble like the varmit always does.
Well, now let’s see what Granpappy Wish-Me-Die done said.
Dear Little Bubba